Surrender

Surrender.

The word itself sounds simple enough. Yet its meaning packs a powerful punch.

According to the American Heritage College Dictionary, surrender means:

Verb:
1) To relinquish possession or control of to another because of demand or
compulsion
2) To give up in favor of another
3) To give up or give back (something granted)
4) To give up or abandon
5) To give over or resign (oneself) to something, as to an emotion
6) Law To restore (an estate, for example), especially to give up (a lease)
before expiration of the term

Not an easy task.

As a follower of Christ, surrender must not simply be part of my vocabulary, it should be an active part of my life. My life is not my own, it was bought at a price (1 Corinthians 6: 19-20). My daily activities should reflect that.

In the above definitions, the act of surrender is a one time deal. For example, if two armies are fighting in a war and one surrenders, the war is over. Finished. The general of the surrendering army does not have to come back the next day and say, “Hey, we surrender again.”

However, for the Christian, surrender is not just a one-time experience. It must be a daily thing. So often, as Christians, we fall into the trap of living in past events. Sure, one may have surrendered every particle of his or her life—all their hopes and dreams, everything—to God years ago at church camp or at a church meeting, but does that still play an active role in his or her life today? Yes and no. Yes, it was a valid experience with God and one can wholeheartedly surrender everything to Him in that moment, and I’m not discounting that in any way. Been there, done that. But how many times since that moment have I re-seized control of my life? And how many new dreams and desires do I have that need to be surrendered? Or what about something as deceptively simple as the agenda I have for my day? The answer is yes, I have plenty of new dreams, plans and agendas to surrender, and unfortunately, I have taken back control of my life countless times, more than I care to remember. Surrender is not a one-time event.

Daily surrender is definitely Biblical. It is a form of dying to self. And this isn’t just about dying to the hopes and dreams we hold closely in our hearts. What about our time? Are we willing to surrender our day to the Lord and let him structure it for us? Heaven forbid we have to be inconvenienced and set aside some of our plans for the day because God has something else in mind. And what about dying to the fear of man and being a bold witness for Christ? Often, that can factor into our time as well. Are we willing to stop in the midst of what we’re doing to share the truth with someone, regardless of where we are and who might be listening/watching?

Jesus discusses this in Luke when he says:

Then he said to them all: ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.
- Luke 9:23-24 NIV

I also liked the way these verses are worded in the Message translation:

Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: ‘Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat—I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?

In the same way that one should make sure his or her spiritual armor is in place or be filled afresh with the Holy Spirit, one has to die to self and surrender to God on a daily basis.

Paul urges us in Romans to offer ourselves as “living sacrifices” to God:

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.
- Romans 12:1

Once again, I love the Message translation as well:

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him.

This also brings up a good point. It takes God’s help for us to completely surrender to him. We have to make a conscious decision to do it—but God meets us at that place. When we humble ourselves and let him take control, he gladly helps us to follow his lead. God wants all of us, every day.

The many synonyms for “surrender” listed on thesaurus.com also raise some interesting points. Some of the synonyms include: abandon, comply, resign, concede, relinquish, submit, vacate, waive, yield, abdicate, give over, give up, lay down. Almost all of these involve, to some extent, the giving up of one’s rights, which is exactly what God wants from us. When we surrender our lives to him—at salvation and every day—we are declaring that we have given up our rights to live our own lives. Yes, we certainly have rights as sons and daughters of God—but we relinquish our “right” to control our own lives and live them for ourselves.

I am preaching this to myself probably more than anyone else who might read this. God has really been working with me on this over the past week and a half, thus the inspiration to write. ;) He started the process by asking me to let go of the tight hold I had on the hopes and dreams buried deep inside my heart, and then challenged me to be willing to surrender my time and reputation—everything—for Him, every day. God has also really been stretching me in the area of waiting for Him. Just because he plants desires in my heart and gives me a tiny glimpse of what He has planned for the future, does not mean that the future is now. And I can’t—and shouldn’t try to—box God in and try to tell Him how He needs to work in my life.

I can be a bit of a control freak at times, so this is often difficult for me (and I’m not using my personality as an excuse—far from it). I have often found myself .tricked into believing I am completely surrendered to Christ, only to find myself clinging tightly to small areas of my heart that I don’t want to relinquish control over. Typically, the control is motivated by fear. I’m afraid of what might happen if I release control. In reality, that’s ridiculous. Even in my short twenty-one years on this earth, I’ve already learned time and time again that God definitely knows better than I do how to run my life. Left on my own, I only mess things up. But God, in his grace, can take my messed-up life and do something beautiful with it, in it, and through it.

God has particularly been working with me on the day-to-day act of surrender. I’ve discovered that daily surrender is a very conscious decision. At least in my own life, it simply hasn’t been enough to just say that I’m surrendered to God and not deliberately re-surrender myself to him everyday. If I don’t, I find myself unconsciously taking back control. So for the past week and a half, each day has involved an act of surrender. Goodness knows I don’t have it down yet, but with God’s help, I’m working on it. And I’ve found that although surrendering is a difficult and often scary process, the rewards far outweigh the pain. I’m never as at peace as I am when I’m surrendered to God. I want my life to be fully surrendered to Him at all times and in every way.

I'm an intern!

Today marks the first day of my summer internship with WBIR. I am already firmly convinced that this is going to be an awesome learning experience for me. It should be a lot of fun.

I began the day by watching the Style producer write intros, outros, and teases and plan the order of the show. Then I tagged along with Michele and April on a video shoot and interview for a future Style program. I spent part of the afternoon watching April edit packages for upcoming Style shows and attended the afternoon editorial meeting. I concluded the day by watching the Style, Live at Five, and 10 News at 6 shows either from the production booth or the studio.

It was a full day, but I enjoyed it.

This all still seems a little surreal to me. I've grown up watching WBIR and now I'm actually working with some of the anchors and reporters I've seen on-camera for years. And as eager as I am to be finished with school, I'm realizing just how fast time has flown. It doesn't seem right that I should already be an intern about to enter my senior year of college. But it is definitely exciting.

I have no doubt this will be an absolutely invaluable experience in my pursuit of a career in journalism and I can't wait see what adventures this summer will hold. I plan to make the most of every minute.

I'm still alive

I realize that it's been a month since I last posted a blog entry, but I am still alive out here. ;) With finals and a host of other things going on in April and early May, blogging was not my top priority. However, now that the semester is over (*hallelujah chorus begins to play*), I will have more time for blogging and plan to make it a priority over the summer. I intend to sit down and list my goals for the summer over the next couple of days and create a summer routine. After finishing my last final on Tuesday, I spent the majority of last week just relaxing when I wasn't at work (summer break means more hours--but at least that leads to a bigger paycheck). But I'm not one to sit around without any real plans for long, so I plan to fix that this week.

Probably the most exciting plan for the upcoming summer that I have at the moment is a journalism practicum (basically, a fancy word for a part-time internship). Beginning in June, I will be a summer intern with the news department at WBIR. I am thrilled to have the position and look forward to the opportunity to gain real-world experience in the journalism field. I am also excited about working with the people at WBIR.

I also plan to spend as much time as possible with my friends over the summer simply hanging out, having fun and relaxing. :)

I'll probably post more of my summer plans later, but for right now, this is all I have beyond the beginnings of a summer reading list.

I now own a video camera!

Yep. I finally bought a digital video camera Saturday night. I've been eyeing it for a while so when I noticed it was on sale, I bought it with my income tax refund money. It's pretty sweet. :)

I've been playing around with it some, but haven't had too much time to do a lot of exploring with it. After the next couple of weeks of school are over, I hope to get out and do more with it.

I have discovered, however, that my outgoing younger brother is a budding movie star and producer all in one six-year-old package. ;) If my camera is out, he is in front of it. And if I'm recording him, and he knows it, he will not hesitate to say, "Hey, Sissy, film this. Now film me. Now film this." I have some funny videos of him--some where he knows the camera is on and some where he doesn't--that I will try to post to YouTube in the near future. When I do I will also post an entry on the blog.

My sister also enjoys the spotlight. She loves drama and acting, so she's not one to run away from my camera either. I filmed a hilarious video of her lip-synching to a Relient K song and totally dramatizing it. I plan to post that one as well.

Owning a video camera is going to be fun and I can't wait to see what memories I'm able to capture and preserve on film.

Lady Vols make it to eight

The Lady Vols won their second consecutive national championship last night in a decisive 64-48 win against Stanford, bringing them to a grand total of eight national titles. Go Vols!

I am so proud of my team! They played a great game last night and have had an awesome season. There is no doubt in my mind that they've earned their back-to-back titles.

While most of the attention given to the team seems to center around team superstar Candace Parker, the entire team has played well all season to get them to where they are. And that's not to make it sound like Parker hogs all the attention--I think she does a great job of working with her team and not drawing all the attention to herself. Someone with her skills and the long list of accolades she possesses just naturally attracts more attention. But I think one of the key factors to the Lady Vols continued success is that they work together well as a team. Pat Summitt doesn't just coach a few players, she builds and guides a team and does a darn good job of it.

So congratulations, Lady Vols!

Also, congratulations to the five graduating seniors. In addition to winning a second national championship title,. they all had a great day in the WNBA draft today. Candace Parker (first pick in the first round) and Shannon Bobbitt (first pick in the second round) will play together for the Los Angeles Sparks, Alexis Hornbuckle (fourth pick in the first round) went with the Detroit Shock, Nicky Anosike (second pick in the second round) signed on with the Minnesota Lynx and Alberta Auguste (seventh pick in the third round) will join the New York Liberty. I wish them all good luck as they embark on their professional careers. They will definitely leave behind quite a legacy.

Give me, O Lord, a thankful heart

That has been the cry of heart lately. Help me to be more thankful, Lord.

I'm not nearly thankful enough. When I stop to think about it, I am so blessed it's ridiculous. So why is my heart not overflowing with thanksgiving all the time (as it should be)? Why have I caught myself whining more than giving thanks lately?

I am thankful that God has been opening my eyes to my lack of thanksgiving. I'm starting to really hear what I'm saying when I'm whining or complaining--and I don't like it at all.

Instead of being thankful that I am able to go to school--and even able to do it at very little monetary cost with no loans of any kind--I've found myself whining about wanting to be finished, how much I don't want to do my assignments or UT's policies. Instead of being thankful that I have a well-paying job (for a college student) with a flexible schedule, good atmosphere, and a good boss who thinks highly of me-- I whine about the things that don't go right at work. I've whined about the weather, fatigue, etc.

So I'm asking God to help me be more thankful, a prayer he seems all to ready to answer. And he is. Also as my friends, if you notice me whining, don't be afraid to bring it to my attention and gently tell me to stop. I won't mind.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.
Psalm 100:4-5

Spring fever in full force

Well, it's that time of year. Spring is finally here! But this year, along with the joyous excitement of spring, I just realized I am suffering from an acute case of spring fever. I think it's been years since I've had it this bad (one of the reasons why I haven't blogged in a while--just too darn restless). As I was staring blankly at my computer screen a few minutes ago, the thought finally occurred to me that maybe the restlessness I've been fighting since spring break has a name: spring fever. So being in a bored state of mind, I decided to Google "spring fever" and see what I could find. I found an interesting definition of the malady on Answers.com. It describes me to a T right now, with the exception of the laziness. I'm still getting things done, I'm just really restless and not quite as productive as I usually am. So maybe that makes me a little lazy, but at least I'm not skipping class, ignoring assignments or calling in to work.

I guess I'll just have to keep persevering through the next few weeks and fight my way through this. Summer will be here before I know it...